Trojan Ant Bait

I thought that perhaps California's nature would be gentler than
Texas was. Not so sure. The first night in my house, I went to get
groceries in the village. I didn't want to wake up to an empty
cupboard. I went to sleep and all was well.
In the morning, surprise! the ants were having a jamboree in my
kitchen. The were dancing salsa on my sink and break-dancing in the
pantry.
A funny thing happens to me when I see swarms of bugs--my skin crawls
like they are all over me. I swatted at the imaginary ones on my
skin while I danced to the beat of the ant party and grabbed the
kitchen faucet sprayer, trying to wash the little buggers away. I
washed and wailed and tried to tracks down some raid.
Back in SA, I was on a first name basis with my exterminator, so I
pulled out the yellow pages and gave one a call.
No "Assassin Pest Control" or "Mountain Monster Killer". Just
kindler, gentler names like "Let The Bugs Rule, Inc" or "Ask Them to
Leave Nicely Pest Control"
They could come today. Boy was I happy.
The man that came was friendly enough, but he kept walking around
saying, "Hmmm."
He said that one wall, was my "hot" wall. What did that mean.? He
claimed that ants were in the wall and it would take awhile. He was
going to lay some bait and we'd have to wait. They'd take it back to
their nest and spread their gifts. Eventually, the ants would
diminish, hopefully before they got in my bed.
In my bed?!
Oh, hell no!
Why couldn't he just spray something, like they did back in Texas?
He looked appalled that I would ask such a thing.
We would have leave the house for four hours while he sprayed an
tented it. or some tiny, little sugar ants. And it would cost a mint.
Of course I was in the middle of something and couldn't do that.
I wasn't going, but I let him spray his pansy trojan-ant bait.
Then I signed all the releases and disclaimers. And warnings.
Damn. California makes you sign a disclosure if someone sneezes in
your presence.
And then he told me something I didn't know.
Spray windex.
Like in My Big Fat Greek Wedding.
Turns out, the stuff really is good for everything.
I'm walking around, armed with a bottle of Windex, and if anything
bigger than an ant comes out of the canyon, let's hope it works on
that, too.