I'm trying really hard to get into San Diego, but a big part of the
frustration of moving is not knowing where stuff is. If you know me,
you know I'm a huge fan of GPS. I suffer from topographical
aphasia, otherwise known as a severe lack of a sense of direction,
but gps just can't tell you important details, like if a business has
MOVED! Twice last week I went out, armed my trusty GPS and ended up
heaven knows where. The business had moved. Kaput. Gone. And I
wasn't looking for little tiny things either. Target has fallen off
the map.
The other thing GPS can't tell you is what a business is like--
whether when you make an appointment for nine, it really means nine.
I made one such appointment last week, at 9AM. My daughter wanted
her hair braided, so I got up in the middle of the night to follow my
GPS into somewhere in Southern california. I found Sophie's Hair
Braiding on the internet and Yelp and it had been reviewed positively
in the news paper,so I thought, How bad can it be?
I arrived at the place minutes before my scheduled time and--there
was no one there. At least no braiders. Turns out, the braid shop
was in the back of another salon, which, even before nine, was filled
with blue-haired ladies and one man, and no one looked to be less
that 80 years old.
We had a seat to wait.
The "advanced aged" ladies came to talk to my children, who were, of
course, terrified.
One of them said, "Such beautiful kids." And then, "I wish I had a
permanent tan."
Apparently at one point she did because her skin was now mottled with
age spots and sun damage.
I called and was assured they were on their way.
We waited 35 minutes, and then I couldn't take it anymore. I hadn't
had any Starbucks yet (I can't find them either).
The braider person did cal me an hour after my scheduled time.
Something had come up.
Yeah, like the backs of her eyelids!
GPS couldn't tell me any other those things.
I tried to GPS myself to a church--GPS failed to let me know that it
was little more than a store front with bars on the windows--not for
me. I'm more of a traditionalist.
Back in texas, I lived in the land of strip malls and new
convenience. Not so here.
I veered away from my car-bitch instructions (GPS) and found a
Staples by accident. Good thing, I needed cartridges for my
printer. Got home, turned out someone had opened the package, put
miscellaneous cartridges in the multi-pack and resealed it so well,
no one could tell. Or maybe it was a factory error.
But I can't return it because I have no sense of direction, can't
find the receipt and have no idea where the Staples was. Except
there was a Rubio's across the street.
But apparently there are Rubio's everywhere.
And what about school supplies, my kids are going back to school and
the schools have published lists of stuff that they need.
I'm a little spoiled, because where I lived before, the schools did
that for you. You'd show up on the first day and the school supply
fairy would have visited your kids desk and gotten them EXACTLY what
they needed.
Well, I wanted the fairy again, but apparently Southern California is
out of her territory. I remembered that the schools used a company
called SCHOOL PAK,
so I went to the website and guess what--my kids schools weren't
listed. That would have been too easy.
So, I emailed them, and lo and behold, they got the lists and added
both of my kids schools and sent me a link when they were done.
I pointed, clicked and ordered, and a few days later, two very neat
boxes showed up on my doorstep, one for each child.
In it, exact school supply lists for each kids, complete with labels
and a note that told me what was missing(like a box of kleenex).
Helllooooo! Perfect for me. I didn't have to yell at my car bitch
for making me lost, nor did I have to find Target ,which keeps
moving. I didn't even have to fight the hordes of soccer-moms
waiting until the last minute. Now that's service.

School Pack can be found at www.schoolpak.com. Gene will hook you up!


still grooven said…
hey nina-nina!
i'm knuckle deep and nose-buried into "No girl..." got my copy at B&N last week. the bay is taking REALLY good care of me. the kids arrive tomorrow. we'll actually be in SD on the 16th for my grandparents anniversary. i'll have ro email you my local contact number. til then, kisses all over ya face!
A New Man said…
Ouch! My stomach is hurting from laughing at your pain! Cruel, I know, but the truth is the truth!

San Diego is a strange place, but GPS tends to help you more than most locals can. It's so odd: locals tend to stay in "their" areas and duck the rest of the city, while "new people"--meaning anyone here less than five years--seem to learn their way around the COUNTY in no time flat.

God help me: my "new people" status is almost expired.

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