Vixen Chronicles

I have a friend that has the best diamond earrings. So good, In fact, that once when we went to dinner, I almost didn't hear anything she said because the color , clarity , cut and brilliance of those damned diamonds was blinding me. I was mesmerized like a cat following the beam from a flashlight.  I came home from the dinner and looked at my own diamond earrings. They seemed bright enough, but still hers seemed somehow brighter. I went on line and searched for ways to make my own earrings look bigger. No luck. Then I switched to searching for ways to upgrade my earrings to bigger, shinier ones, but I was interrupted by my children. They were fighting over dishes again. A few week  later, I went out with my friends again, this time, she wore a fabulous diamond bracelet that might have been a tennis bracelet if the diamonds were half the size that they were. Each one of the stones was as big as the ones in my own diamond earrings. Again, I was mesmerized, came  home and...

Yaay! We have a winner. My sister sent me the funniest email yesterday and rather than forward madly, I'll just post it here. No need to thank me. Enjoy! How to keep a healthy level of insanity: 1) At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down. 2) Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go." 3) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that. 4) Put your rubbish bin on your desk and label it "IN". 5) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso. 6) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophesy." 7) Don't use any punctuation 8) Use, too...much; punctuation! 9) As often as possible, skip rather than walk. 10) Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer. 11) Specify that your dri...