Mosquito Madness

Can't sleep.

Can you believe I had an uneventful weekend and 4th of July? This is the first year I did absolutely nothing. Well, I did sign books at the Essence Music Festival in Houston, but I went in, signed the books and came back home. No, they don't give you free concert tix or anything like it when you do that. I did get to meet a few folks from Austin, some people even recognized me from TV. That's a big deal for me because authors don't get recognized. Its not like begin a TV star.
It's been a long time since I signed books like that. We stood in front of the table and basically accosted passers-by with our bookmarks and postcards. I used to do that type of thing all the time when I was self published. I would even use my then three year old daughter as a shill. Folks would stop to remark on how cute she would and then she would do the accosting, slipping them some material and blinking her eyelashes. "My mommy is an author, would you buy her book so I can go to college?" It felt like hawking your bootleg goods on a New York corner, trying to avoid the po-po. Had I known it would be like that I would have worn less clothes. I could have stuck my leg out and people would've stopped would stop in their tracks. Naw. More than likely they would go blind or pass out or something from the experience. I don't think that would have been a good scene. One of the other authors did just that and although it wasn't a pretty picture it seemed to work.

I've never been to Essence, usually on the 4th I want to stay home with family and have seafood with friends and frozen drinks. I don't know what it was like in New Orleans, but in Houston it was just loud. There is nothing outside the reliant area so everythign to do was inside and there was a loudspeaker in five corners of the room, including the one I was in.. Naliegha Kai got on the mike and enjoyed herself for two hours yelling everyone's name out. She was working so hard at it she was sweating all over her nose like a pregnant woman in Texas in August. I never want to hear someone say 'There's a Foxx in the house!" again, Na' Mean?
I met Miss Daimiah Poole. Not sure if that is spelled right, but it was certainly a pleasure to hawk books alongside her. I also discovered Joel McIver. Check him out at I promptly told him he needed a new picture in his book, too because he was definitely a cutie.

Back in the archives, you will find an account of my last trip to Houston. I damn near floated away in a hotel limo last year. Naturally after the last experience, I was a little leery when I found out that it was raining down there, but went anyway, this time I drove my own car because its big and huge and if that thing is floating, the whole city would be underwater. I got there and back safely, except for the little mosquito thing that happened.

I was about to get on the road and decided that since it was late, I should gas up. That way I wouldn't have to stop on the side of the road in the Texas wilderness. Well, I was in league City and I pulled up to a gas station. I chose a well lit one like I was supposed to. I opened the door and got out of the car and you would have sworn I was in an old fashioned horror movie. I was suddenly the star of The Birds or The Swarm or something except this one would have been called "The Big-Ass Mosquitos". It was like I was in a cloud of bees. First I was trying to be proper and ladylike so I swatted at them gently. That didn't work and soon I started hopping around and flailing my arms. My gas tank is really big and the pump was really slow. The pump was sucking me dry and the mosquitos were trying their damndest to suck my body dry as well! I don't think I taste good because Mosquitos usually pass me by, but these buggers were chomping on me like I was filet mignon. The gas station attendant thought he was being punked or something, but he didn't come out side to help. I could see him in the safety of his little convenience store doubled over in laughter. I wanted to shout, "I'm not crunking you idiot, hit me with a hose or something." Two days later and I'm still itching.


Anonymous said…
Nina, Nina, Nina. Seems like whenever you pump gas something bad always happens. And dang they could have come out to help you- anyone else would have. Wondering what were they saying from inside..."no sense in both of us getting West Nile"? Watch out for those skeeters next time.

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