Christmas Kling-ons and Friendship Faux Pas

Sigh. All my Christmas shopping is done and my point and click finger is exhausted. I hate Christmas shopping. Let me clarify, I love to give gifts to my loved ones, but I hate the crowds. My list seemed longer this year for some reason. Maybe it was because there were a lot of people who helped make 2006 a good one for me, folks that I had to make sure I got a small token so they would know I have appreciated the moments of joy and comfort they have given me.
The Christmas tree is all in place too. Before the season started, I had every intention of having three trees in my house. One designer looking tree, one two color tree, white with black ornaments like I saw of Ugly Betty, and one with all the kid ornaments and the Black Santas and Angels. Then the reality of who was going to do all the work hit me. I pulled out our trusty pre-lit tree and the boxes and boxes of ornaments and I grimaced. What a pain it was going to be to put the tree up! I forced myself to make it happen. Translate this as I begged my husband to stand the monstrosity up, then let the girls and the babysitter put on the ornamets. What I got back was this designer looking thing, with purple ribbons placed just so and only two colors of ornaments spaced so neatly I swear they'd used a ruler or something. It was beautiful. Then we went to bed. OIwoke up the next day to discover that my five year old wasn't satisfied. You see, they didn't put any of the "special" ornaments on the tree. You know, the ones the kids make very year and bring home. She was so sweet about it too. Considering that she might be three feet tall in heels, she'd tried her best. All of the ornaments were grouped together around the bottom of the tree. And you know what, I left them there. Christmas isn't about having a perfect tree, or even having a tree at all. It's about friends and family.

But, did you ever notice how folks you haven't heard from in months pop-up to remind you of your friendship as the holidays approach? If you're single, you see this more, I'm sure. Are these people feeling melancholy and trying to catch up with those they might have lost track of? Or are they Christmas Kling-ons trolling for a gift? Or you get the reverse, folks who disappear after Halloween so they don't have to buy you a gift. Again, single girls know what I mean. Here's a hint, if he disappears around your birthday, valentine's day and Christmas, its time to give the man a lump of coal for Christmas and kick him to the curb. I know a website where you can get it, too.

And there are still other friends who try to be Kling-ons all year round, sticking to you like a static-y used up dryer sheet, whether or not you have anything in common anymore or not. You see, either you grow and change together or you don't. Or maybe you grow and change, but just in different directions. Don't act like you don't know what I mean. The guy who was your best friend in grade school who is now the street corner merchant that sells the bootleg CD's and knock off Goach (instead of Coach) handbags and likes Extreme Fighting and you, now a Professor of Quantum Physics with a favorite sport of Patonque and a fine wine connoisseur, you probably don't have Much in common anymore. I know that I am not really one to talk. I'm bad about the break up. I had to learn that a relationship isn't always fifty-fifty. Sure, sometimes you carry your friends, and sometimes they carry you. But if one gets carried too long, it can be emotionally draining. For instance, If she's still annoying you (as it was in my case) after five years, its break-up time. Caller ID is a wonderful thing. Gloom and Doom gets old after awhile.

We also have to learn to take a hint. If you send emails daily that read like a news report of what's happening in your day and you don 't get a reply, they're trying to tell you something. This is especially true if your life is just not that interesting. No one wants a blow by blow report of you watching TV and reading the paper. Trust me. Don't be like a ring dove in a conditioning lab because they answered you once or occasionally send you one or two word notes. Just stop hitting send. They really don't won't to know. You might end up on the blocked sender list.

This doesn't mean that folks are callous or uncaring, it just means we have to realize that there are different types of friends. Like they say, some friends are friends for a reason. You fill a need for them or they for you. Others for a season, like a summer romance. And when the season is past, let it go and live with the fond memories. Trying to hold on can be like a balding man with a sparse comb-over. When its gone, its gone, dude. Buck up and bald proudly. And others, those are friends for a lifetime. These are the ones we cherish and run out to buy gifts for, even if we haven't talked in a few weeks. Or in my case, those are the ones we point, click, send for. The ones who will get arrested with you instead of bailing you out. Or embarrass themselves with you in Mexico by saying they are Whitney Houston when you say you are Vanessa Williams and then dance on the tables at that little bar on the strip on the Mexican Riviera. You know who you are. ;-)

Okay, 'nuff said. I still have to make my page quota today. But I got this email and instead of replying (I really hate these emails), I thought I'd blog it. See below, post answers in your blog replies please. Happy Holidays.


> Read and then follow directions at bottom
>
> 1. NAME: Nina
> 2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Nope.
> 3. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? A few weeks ago.
>
> 4. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Sometimes. But who cares, I can type
> 5. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Don't eat meat.
> 6. KIDS? Yes (2)Well, three if you count my spouse.
>
> 7. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? Yes, one online and one handwritten>
> 8. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? depends on how you define a lot>
>
> 9. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yes
>
> 10. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Been there, done that>
> 11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Farina>
> 12. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? Choos usually don't lace.
> 13. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? Absolutely. Either that or I'm good at
faking it.>
> 14. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Chocolate
>
> 15. FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Shoes and if they know their way around a tweezer. Chin hairs are unsightly on a woman.
> 16. RED OR PINK? Pink
>
> 17. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOU? I don't break up well.
Its hard to tell people to get ta steppin'.
> 18. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? My dad.
> 19. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? Nope, I want them to post their replies right here.
>
>
> 20. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Black exercise capris
and grey Masaii Warrior barefoot technology shoes. I know, it sounds like a
fashion faux paus but it makes my ass look fab. I know, I caught ya lookin'

> 21. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR COULD YOU BE? Green
> 22. FAVORITE SMELL? Cookies baking. Not that I plan to eat any, too many
carbs, but I can live vicariously through others>
> 23. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Lynda>
>
> 24. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? Yes
>
> 25. FAVORITE DRINK? Dirty Martinis with the special olives that my friends
Rufus and Pam so thoughtfully bring whenever they visit. Oh, and they have
to be made with Grey Goose>
> 26. FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH? DOWNHILL SKIING. absolutely. Oh, and I have
to admit tht I'm kinda feeling basketball lately, but don't tell my spouse.>
> 27. HAIR COLOR? Depends on wher you look, reddish borwn
> 28. EYE COLOR? Green>
>
> 29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Nope. Had those eyes fixed a while ago.
>
> 30. FAVORITE FOOD? Chocolate. Its a vegetable.>
> 31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDING? Scary.
>
> 32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Cars. Yeah, I know, not scary, but the kids
were watching, too.
>
> 33. COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? Black exercise top. >
> 34. SUMMER OR WINTER? Hmm. They both have theri good points.>
> 35. HUGS OR KISSES? Depends on who is doing the giving
> 36. FAVORITE DESSERT? Ice cream.>
> 37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Brandie, The mysterious Chico de Casa,
sometimes known as anonymous>
> 38. MOST LIKELY NOT TO RESPOND?Pam>
> 39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING? Struggling through Paint it Black >
> 40. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? You don't want to know>
> 41. WHEN WERE YOU BORN? October. I was a babay so I can't remember the
year.
> 42. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Jamaica, NY-Jamaica Hospital>
> Now, here's what you're supposed to do... and please do not spoil the
> fun.
> Hit reply and post your answers here, then tell a whole bunch of other people to do it too,
>> The theory is that you learn something that yu have in common with others during this holiday season.
>
>

Comments

Anonymous said…
Okay, I have tears in my eyes laughing about Kling-on folks who can't seem to get the hint that it is time to move on. However, the thought hit me to forward your blog to my own Kling-ons and hopefully the thought will occur to them too, that it's time to move on. Wish me luck with cleaning house and shuckin those, over and done with relationships before 2007.
Auntie said…
I love reading your blog - learn something new about you each time. I had the same tree decorating experience with Caryn. Brought back so many great memories. Understand the Kling-on stuff, too. I can relate. Miss you guys. Have a blessed holiday.
Anonymous said…
jIyaj Qoy! (that’s Klingon for “I hear you…” – no really, it is…it’s amazing what you can find on a website (http://www.kli.org/tlh/)

People just need to have the intestinal fortitude to be honest in relationships and realize that they have varying degrees of intensity, duration, and latitude. I’ve been on both ends of one of those summer romances you referred to, and as a kling-on, it feels so good to think you have a connection, but as a klinged-on (I think that is the right tense of that made up word) it feels so oppressive to interact with those clingers.

Sometimes we just need to see that choosing to declare that the season has ended on a relationship and while we enjoyed it, learned from it, grew from it and so on – it is also time to move beyond it and embrace life. The more quickly we can get that done, the hurt one gets healed, the stifled one gets freed and the universe gets a bit closer to being balanced. It reminds me of an ancient Klingon quote (really, it is): Klingons do not "pursue relationships." They conquer that which they desire. Before I end this diatribe, a Klingon phrase Ms. Foxx should learn: “nuqDaq yuch Dapol” which translates to: where do you keep the chocolate? (I would not joke about this stuff – amazing what a trekkie can do.)

Anyway, now I will stop waxing on emotional philosophy and get to the much more important stuff:

> 1. NAME:
Daisuki wa Chico de Casa del Zorrrro

> 2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Yes

> 3. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY?
1994

> 4. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
Yes

> 5. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Turkey

> 6. KIDS?
More than I couple they tell me

> 7. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL?
Yes

> 8. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?
Me? Never!!!!

> 9. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
I’m pretty sure I do

> 10. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
I would again

> 11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
Uh Cheerios, is there anything else?

> 12. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
Only if they have laces

> 13. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
Situationally

> 14. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
Vanilla

> 15. FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
Women – smile / Men – eyes

> 16. RED OR PINK?
Depends on what you are referring too

> 17. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOU?
My ass

> 18. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
My soulmate

> 19. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU?
Nah

> 20. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
Khaki, Brown

> 21. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR COULD YOU BE?
Green or Yellow

> 22. FAVORITE SMELL?
This is a family show, so I won’t go there

> 23. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
Amante

> 24. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
Most days

> 25. FAVORITE DRINK?
Mojito

> 26. FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH?
March Madness Basketball

> 27. HAIR COLOR?
Most of it is mostly black

> 28. EYE COLOR?
Cocoa

> 29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
Nope.

> 30. FAVORITE FOOD?
Snow peas

> 31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDING?
Action

> 32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
The Illusionist

> 33. COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Dark red

> 34. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Both

> 35. HUGS OR KISSES?
Standing or laying?

> 36. FAVORITE DESSERT?
Watermelon

> 37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
I dunno

> 38. MOST LIKELY NOT TO RESPOND?
I dunno

> 39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING?
He Talk Like a White Boy

> 40. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
See #22 and #35 above

> 41. WHEN WERE YOU BORN?
Around 1389 if you use the Hijrah Calendar

> 42. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
America
B said…
Great hearing from you today Nina Foxx! Glad to hear all is well with you in So. Texas.

1. NAME: Barry

> 2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? The singer with the deep voice.

 3. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? When my mother made me watch “Pinky” with her
>
> 4. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? I print, what’s not to like

> 5. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Roasted Chicken

 > 6. KIDS? 3
>
> 7. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? More like a book of thoughts

> 8. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? Occasionally, but not a lot
>
> 9. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yes
>
> 10. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Yes

> 11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Honey Nut Cheerios

> 12. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? Yes, shoes are an investment and should be taken care of.

> 13. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? Stable, but not necessarily strong

> 14. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Vanilla Bean
>
> 15. FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Heigth

> 16. RED OR PINK? Red
>
> 17. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOU? Can be a bit too casual

 > 18. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? Grandpa Wolf

> 19. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? No
>>
> 20. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Jeans and black loafers

> 21. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR COULD YOU BE? Green

 > 22. FAVORITE SMELL? Mint

> 23. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Andy
>
> 24. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? Yes
>
> 25. FAVORITE DRINK? Merlot

 > 26. FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH? Olympic Track and Field

> 27. HAIR COLOR? Black and gray

> 28. EYE COLOR? Mucky brown
>
> 29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? No, I’m too scared to touch my eyeballs
>
> 30. FAVORITE FOOD? Fried chicken, just not too often

> 31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDING? Happy since life is scary enough
>
> 32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Invincible
>
> 33. COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? Striped

 > 34. SUMMER OR WINTER? Summer

> 35. HUGS OR KISSES? Hugs

> 36. FAVORITE DESSERT? Oatmeal cookies

 > 37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? No one

 > 38. MOST LIKELY NOT TO RESPOND? ??

> 39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING? The Foresaken

 > 40. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? Yes

> 41. WHEN WERE YOU BORN? April

> 42. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Austin

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