Flying wthout Orgasm

Liquid ban on airline flights have been relaxed. Will never have to fly
without Orgasm again.

That was the content of a text message I received from a friend of mine yesterday. Although I knew what they were talking about, I still laughed. I recently took a flight, then at the airport, realized that I had left my favorite lip gloss in my purse and had not packed it. The name? Orgasm, by Bobbi Brown. I gave it to my friend and begged them to please drop it in the mail for me.
I'm so glad that dang ban has been lifted. Billy might be able to travel without lotions or creams, but ladies, think about how difficult this can be. I tried it.
Joe can leave home without lip gloss (hope he doesn't own any of Jane might be in trouble). For women though, we all know that there had been many a day when a touch of color or shine on your lips made you look better and hence be a little nicer. Imagine a world filled with women with ashy lips.

John can leave home without lotion and maybe use the lotion they leave in the bathroom at the hotel. For him, it serves meany purposes. Lips. After shower. Shaving. Face moisturizer. I would bet that many men don't "moisturize" at all and just use lotion on their face all the time anyway.

For us, I don't think so. Put that stuff on your face and you break out in hives and then still feel like your face has been pulled tight at midday. Either that or you look like you have fallen face down in an oil slick and your makeup just slides off your face. For the body, you say? Uh uh. Either it won't sink in and your hands slide off everyone else's when you try a handshake and your heels still look ashy but you bust your behind falling off your shoes because your feet are greasy. Sound amusing? Try explaining that you sprained your ankle falling off your own shoe.
Let's just skip the shaving part. It'll look like you shaved dry and you might break out with bumps that look like you have caught the outer mongolian creeping crud. No bathing suit for six months.

Face wash--David can use soap, but ladies, see above.

Toothpaste. Let's not discuss it.
And no water. I used to travel with a boittle of water not just because I was thirsty, but if you read the fine print in the back of the airplane magazines, they tell you to drink water. It helps avoid dehydration, day after water retention and don't even mention Deep Vein Thrombosis (also known as blod clots). I tried buying a bottle once I got through security and then sucking it down before I boarded the plane, but then I would have to pee. And who wants to go to that industrial smelling watr closet in the sky? And asking for water on board is another joke. They fill your glass with ice and then pour two tablespoons of water over the top. Either that or they give you a can of water. A can of water just isn't right. That's like a keg of milk.
Before the ban I had no idea how many bottles of stuff I carried when I traveled. I had no idea how much stuff I carried period. I tried to downsize, and some of the effort was successful. This past weekend, for instance, I only had five pairs of shoes on my trip. You might think that's a lot for a weekend, but I wore each and every one. Before I paid attention to it, I might have taken a shoe suitcase.


Popular posts from this blog

There is no Try

The Power to Say Yes

26 Minutes