Little Vixen Rules

The kiddos are back in school. For mine, a new school. I try to talk to my kids about school daily, even if they aren't talking back to me. Heaven knows, with a pre-teen, it can be like pulling teeth. They hopped in the car yesterday and I did my usual inquiry..."What happened today? Anything fun?"
I got the usual answer at first. "Nothing."
I left it at that because I knew the silence usualy draws out more detail. That nothing can be intepreted a lot of ways.
"I don't have any friends."
It was coming. "Baby, you have only been at this new school a week. It'll come."
"Well, no one would play with me at Recess."
I sensesd that there was more she wanted to tell.
"Well, they were playing tag and I don't like that game."
"Well, all the kids that like each togther play tag together."
"Yeah. James like Soga. She likes him back. Mary likes Ernest."
"I see. You haven't said you dislike anyone."
"No, Mom, that's not what I mean. They LIKE LIKE each other."
I paused. These are nine year olds. "I didn't think that started until fourth grade."
"What are you talking about mom?"
"Never mind. There are more than four children in your class, you could play with the others."
"I know." She pauses. "Mom, they are going on a date. A double date."
Whoaaa. Where from do these kids know about dating?
"That's silly. They're too young."
"No, for real, Mom. They are going to the movies."
Riiiight. Maybe they are. But I hope not. I closed my mouth. "Maybe, but they also could have just told you that."
"Yeah, but they told everyone. Why can't---"
I knew what was coming. "Okay Sweeties, let's talk about the rules."

Values are different, but we have simple rules in my household that even the dog knows. They are simple and we revisit them often. (They don't necessarily go in this order.)

The Little Vixen Rules

1. No dating until sixteen.
2. No makeup until sixteen.
3.Five year olds don't drive. Neither do six year olds.
4. No cell phones before 12. And then its a maybe, so don't ask again.
5. No piddling on the walls. If you do you sleep in the kennel.
6. No chewing gum until 10. And that's a maybe. If you put it somewhere you shouldn't when you are allowed to, the age will be raised.
7. No high heels until, Hmm, we'll see.
8. No drinking until 21, and I'd like you to have the first one with me.
9. You may drive but that doesn't guarantee a car.
10. College is not optional.
11. No chunk jewelry. Ever.
12. Tops and bottoms can't be tight at the same time. Not even if you are a grown up.
13. No cheap shoes.
14. No ugly shoes.
15. No babies before college.
16. No kissing. It spreads germs.
17. Sex? For mommies and daddies only. After college. No, after grad school.
18. Live in my house, we live by the rules.
19. Say no to drugs. They rot your teeth, make the boobies you don't have yet drop, make your booty fall off and eat your body from the inside out. You may even grow old man hair in your ears, so why chance it?

And the final one--
20. We are not concerned about how other people can and do conduct themselves, we are only concerned with the way we do.


Anonymous said…
And I thought Nina Foxx's children had a crazy Grammie! I think I like those rules! Wonder what crazy/smart folks put those ideas in your head Nina Foxx!
casino neteller said…
The matchless message ;)

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