Love & Comfort . Ha!

I taped a television show last night. The topic of the show was"How to Make your man do anything you want...and like it." I gotta tell you, when they first asked me to be on the show, I wasn't sure WHY they asked me. But, as it turns out, I do write relationship novels and flap my lips in this blog quite a bit, so they thought I would have a lot to say. And you know what, I did.

The show will air in the fall and it is The Family Digest Show. Check out Family Digest Magazine.

There were two other panelist besides myself,one a psychotherapist who writes a column for the mag, and the other, a long time married man. We talked about how to make a man happy, etc, etc, and what it seemed to boil down to was that the woman needed to be happy with and know herself to make someone else happy. Oh, and the man wanted it known that it was important not to nag. (!)

They asked us what we thought a man wanted from a relationship. Myself and the psychotherapist (also female), came up with a myriad of things, like respect, etc etc. What did the man say? He said love and comfort. The host of the show called him on that and asked him to give the answer he might give if his wife wasn't present.

Love and Comfort.

What I wanted to say was "Sonny, you can get that from a two dollar whore (if you can find one these days)." But of course I didn't say that. It was a family show. And they wouldn't let me argue or talk about the woman side of it. They said it was a show about men and the woman part, that was another show. Sugar Honey Iced Tea.

During commercial breaks though, they let me talk about whatever I wanted, and the host, Darryl Mobley (also the magazine publisher) and I exchanged quite a few quips.
I didn't even complain when they sat me in the bad chair, the one that had only the side of my face on camera. The makeup artist was good, too. She had me totally looking like someone else.

The hot seat question is what got me. They changed our seats to these Big, red, chairs that made me feel like I was a kid on a big couch and if I said the wrong thing, the chair would suck me down into its depths like a b-rated horror movie. We had one minute to answer. They wanted to know the three things a woman could do to jack up a relationship. I wanted to scream, "A man can jack it up, too," But that, again, was another show, and Darryl wasn't trying to make tabloid TV. I did my best to hold back the sista-girl in me and I answered that dang question the way 8 years of college, 96 pairs of shoes and 12 years of marriage taught me.

So, I'm going to ask you, blog friends, what are three things a woman (or a man) can do to mess up a relationship? Three only! Answer away.


Anonymous said…
hmmm, three things that can jack a relationship:

1. fail to change with your partner or accept the changes they decide they need in thier lives

2. forgetting the stuff that brings love and comfort to the relationship on a consistent basis (yes, we all get busy with jobs/kids/dreams/school) -- but male/female relationships start with attraction, develop with affection and thrive off love and when we don't revisit the stuff that started it all off frequently enough (things such as flirting during those countless phone calls during the day or making out in some semi-public place like you did when you were 17), relationships wilt.

3. letting the relationship get to the point where you have nothing to talk about...because when you get there #1: the woman will nag to create the conversations; #2: the man will play golf/watch all day sports marathons/work on the car for hours on end just so he doesn't have to talk about nothing; and/or #3: you will find someone else to talk to about the things you want to talk about

Anonymous said…
Uh, what were YOUR three?
Anonymous said…
1. Cheat and get caught. Okay, that's why I will have to be anonymous for this survey! LOL
2. Publically disrespect your partner. Most relationships can withstand vicious private fights, but acting crazy in public is a definite relationship killer.
3. Let yourself go (physical appearance drastically change for the worst!) Although in some odd relationships, getting drastically better, will screw things up too!
Anonymous said…
I agree with all three anonymous opinions.
Anonymous said…
1. Dominate the relationship. The man wants to know he is the man (even if he isn't)

2. Complain about the same things. Hey, find a way to resolve problems and leave them alone. They don't need to be brought up again.

3. Come to bed funky on a regular basis. (need I say more?)

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