There's a hole in the bucket or Why you don't like working out before you go to work in the morning

Those of you that follow me know I embarked in a more healthy lifestyle at the beginning of the year. I've accomplished several goals and have set new ones. My workouts, for the most part, take place evenings, although I have been trying to do one on Friday morning before work. This is  really, really hard. Mornings are very full. I'm all about learning from other's mistakes, so I have worked through why this is hard to do for all of us. My reasons follow.

1. Forgetting of the underwear. This sucks. You think you packed it, but left it on the bed. Not good. In the movies, being au natural looks cool. Its not. Its uncomfortable.

2.You try to solve number one by leaving undies in the gym bag. But then you discover that you have used them all. Or they clash terribly with the rest of your undergarments. Foundations needs to feel fantastic, and this can ruin your day. Clashing undies means you blush when you walk around the lockerroom in them. And you will walk around in them because you have been working out for a bit. Sigh.

3.  Or Underwear that you leave in the bag show through your clothes, because well, they are the fabulous color that was hot a Vicky's secret, and of course you picked up a white blouse to wear today.

4. You try to solve number three by making everything beige, but that doesn't work either. Some days, the only ezxcitement in your life is the secret undies under your clothes. That plus your skin is beige, so it look like you are walking  around naked in the locker room. You want to show off your muscles a little bit, but not get crazy.


5. You forget the deodorant. being smelly is never a good look, and the spray deodorant in the gym smells wrong, like Listerine. And its itchy.

6. You try to solve this by leaving some in the bag. It crumbles and leaves your bag coated with white stuff. Which is now all over everything you put in the bag.

7. Shoe choice. AT home, you can get dressed, then go into the shoe area of your closet, and choose the appropriate footwear. Can't do that at the gym.

8. Or you forget the shoes and are stuck in athletic shoes all day. What a way to ruin an outfit. Might as well go home.

9. You try to solve number 7 by thinking ahead. The feeling just wasn't the same, and by the time your workout is done, your mood has changed, but you can't change the shoes with the mood, so your stuck. And grumpy. And then you don't say hello to the receptionist when you walk into your building, even though you know you  will pay for that later. Might as well go home.

10.. You also try to solve number 7 by bringing more than one pair of shoes to go with the outfit you'd chosen. That didn't work either. You need a gym bag instead of a suitcase.

11. Forgetting makeup. I know you say go without, but let's be real. Not happening. Eyeliner is a must, so is mascara. Still working on this. One day you will rent a long term locker and buy doubles of your makeup. When you hit the lottery, 'cause you know you wear the expensive stuff. Might as well go home, 'cause makeup less, no one will recognize you at your office.

11. Forgetting the jewelry or bringing the wrong jewelry. When they did that right hand ring commercial, they did a number on you and now you walk lopsided if you go without. Invariably, that's the item you forget. Which means you feel naked all day. Again. Or you go to the bathroom, look down, panic, and then have to compose yourself all over again when you realize you didn't lose it, you left it at home. Sigh.

12. Ironing. I can just say this and you will understand. But let's be clear, you are a lundry fanatic. You won't let anyone do it for you  because it has to be done a certain way, and that includes so  you don't have to iron. At all. Ever. But when you get dressed at the gym, something will be wrinkled beyod the pount of acceptableness. And then you willl have to iron there. And then there won't be water in the iron. And then the markings will be missing from the iron so you can't tell how hot it is. And then the iron will spit on your clothes,leavign a spot because its not hot enough. And then you will burn an anvil shapped spot on your skirt. And then you will walk around with an anvil print on your butt all day. As if you weren't self conscious enough about your rear view. Just saying. Might as well go home.

There you have it. Afternoon workouts are the best. This healthy lifestyle has taught me so much!
There's a hole in the bucket, Liza. Fix it.  ;-)

Comments

Danielle Motley said…
This is a perfect description of what happens when you leave home for your AM workout. I have horror stories about working out at home at 5 am. It involves stumbling around in a dark home, trying not to wake the family as you grunt and scream along with Shaun T. and INSANITY and finding those undergarments, outfits, shoes and jewelry in the dark. Good times.

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