The real science of Mirrors

I had some time to kill in town yesterday before the Spurs playoff game, so I went in search of air-conditioning. Of Course I gravitated to a shopping establishment. Thankfully it was a shopping establishment with a bathroom, 'cause I had to go. Normally, I despise public restrooms like I despise natural water, but this time I couldn't avoid it. Thankfully, I'd picked the type of place that gves you beverages while you shop. This type of things seems to be highly correlated with having a clean restroom.
After I returned the numerous greetings that came my way, I headed to the back of the store. Whew! I barely made it, but I took care of what I had to successfully. Good thing, too, 'cause this was game two of round one in the playoffs, and I lived too far to hightail it all the way back out to the country and then make it back downtown in time for the start of the game. I'm sure the folks sitting next too me wouldn't have appreciated it if....But I digress.
I washed my hands, and straightened my clothes, then realized that this was one of those bathroms wehre I was completely surrounded by mirrors.
I froze.
Total mirrors could be bad.
I mean, we all have an angle we hate, and depending on what time of the year it is, we might have a whole lot of angles we hate.
I checked me out in the mirror.
This place had some good mirrors.
Now, some physics buff will tell you that a good mirror is made of glass of good optical quality and the angles of reflection and incidence are equal and all that mumbo jumbo, but let me lay down the real science.
A good mirror will make you look like you have the perfect Brick House proportions when comparing your top, middle and bottom, no matter what your particular reality might be today. Irregardless of your bloat quotient, your thigh ratio, or your outfit that doesn't quite work but you had to wear anyway because it was the end of the laundry.
We all have been in front of bad mirrors. The kind that make you look round in the middle or large in the rear. The kind that belong in a carnival funhouse instead of a dag-blasted dressing room.
Cheap mirrors make you look worse than you might.
I looked lean, long and leggy. And my stomach looked uber-flat. That made this one not just a good mirror, but a damn good mirror.
Now, I would like to take all the credit for this,but I can't. But the mirrors made me happy.

But this store obviously knew a thing or two about reflections.
They would have to. I looked in this fabulous mirror and understood their marketing angle.
They are not in a mall and you have to actually drive out of your way to get to them, so they had compensated with drinks and old-fashioned professional sales WOMEN (not girls), and this, the mirror-of-the-good-reflection.
Well, I turned arund and around to get a glimpse of all the angles I could. Even the dreaded view from the back. As I turned, my self-esteem improved by ten points.
I must have stayed in that bathroom for almost twenty minutes, until my private time with me was interrupted. This was the only public restroom they had.
I guess they couldn't think of everything.
I swore under my breath at being interrupted and I emerged, feeling better than before. And Although I had come in to window shop, I felt so good, I bought something.
I'm going back again before shopping for bathing suits.
You think they will let me bring stuff in to try on in their restroom?

Comments

still grooven said…
do they SELL these mirrors?
LOVED this one. ("...i hate public restrooms as much as i hate natural water..." THAT'S POETRY!!!)

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