Finding Humor in Your Day/Not screaming about shit

Finding the humor in your day can keep you sane. I had to find humor in mine this morning. I'm now doing two-a-day workouts. That means I am splitting my gym time, separating the cardio and the weight workouts. Going to the gym before works requires a lot of extra effort if you 're a girl. That means pre-thinking what you are going to wear and giving up the time spent in your closet changing your outfit. It means you have to commit to your clothes without trying two different shirts or three different pair of shoes. It also means you can't forget anything..shampoo, conditioner, hair gel, makeup and associated brushes, jewelry...shoes...and underwear. Let's not forget that last one. I tried, at first, to get up and get things ready, but that didn't work too well. I had a day where I forgot proper bottoms, so now, I have taken to getting EVRYTHING ready the night before. This is HUGE for someone who packs for a flight an hour before they have to leave for the airport. Last night, I fixed all of my meals (Yes, I have to pack them too), packaged them, then got my clothes ready. I decided I would wear these lovely wedge heel knee high boots. They didn't quite fit in my bag, so I left the bag open and laid them across the top. All was well. This morning, as I was walking out the door, laden with my gym bag, my lunch bag, my purse, my morning-before-workout protein shake and my coffee cup, I felt a little over burdened, so I asked the minime to take my lunch and wedged my coffee mug down in the side of my bag, and prepared to enjoy our normal banter as I took her to school and the hubster walked the dog. My garage is under the house, so I headed downstairs behind my kid. On about the third step, I realized that there was a river of coffee running across my bag and cascading down the waterfall that had been my carpeted steps. My coffee had tipped over inside my bag and my boots had created the perfect creek bed of caffeine goodness. I shrieked at the top of my lungs and grabbed the cup. All I could think about were the accessories in my bag, one of which was an Hermes silk scarf...which would never be the same if soaked in Java. I sat the cup down on the steps and for some reason, it acted as if it had a rounded bottom and clunked on its side. I shrieked at the top of my lungs again. All I could think of now was the brand new carpet in my almost brand new house. My daughter ran back into the house and up the stairs now. My husband hollered from the kitchen. "What?! What?!" And then the mug fell over one more time, for good measure. So of course I shrieked again. (Was there a mischievous little elf watching in the corner, holding his stomach and laughing at me?) The dog ran and hid. I started grabbing things out of my bag and throwing them up in the air to save them from the coffee I was sure must be soaking down into the bag by now. I screamed some more, then yelled to my husband, "Bring a paper towel, quick!" He yelled back "what?! What?! Are you okay?" A pause. "Did the dog shit?" My daughter was now standing looking at me. "Am I going to be late?" My husband was at top of the steps with a quizzical look on his face. The dog...was still hiding. Recently, the vet told us that if the dog has an accident (or an on-purpose) in the house, we shouldn't yell at his little 3.1 lb self. Instead, we should yell AT the shit. (My husband was relieved to know that I wasn't yelling at shit.) I grabbed the paper towels he was offering and cleaned up the best I could, then took a deep breath. The scarf was safe. The carpet...could be cleaned and will probably, eventually be replaced with wood floors. No liquid had actually gotten inside the bag. My family looked at me all silent like for a bit, and then, my husband offered-- "It's okay to ask me for help." I stopped in my tracks. He was absolutely right. "How about, you take her to school, and I will take a leisurely walk with the dog?" He nodded, we exchanged jobs. I texted him later, when I knew the car would read the text out loud to him so my daughter would hear. --Sorry I'm so crazy. Their reply: -Mommy, you were pretty funny this morning. We liked it." A smile spread across my face as I walked the pooch in the morning twilight, enjoy the few extra minutes I had been given. The Coffee river had made me slow down. There was an upside to everything. I'd been reminded that it was okay to ask for help...and to be grateful that I was not screaming about shit.

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