Never Let a Girl (Guy) Cook In Your Kitchen: Can men & women really JUST be friends?
I was going to blog about what you could do for yourself on Valentine’s day, but instead found a much more interesting topic.
Do you think a man and woman can be “just friends”? I used to think so, then I realized there are all shades of this.
It depends on a lot of things. Is the man single? Is the woman? Just how do you define “friends”? Is a friend someone you know and you might hang out with occasionally? How do you define hang out? Does hanging out mean you went to high school (or something ) together and you happen to be in town and once in ten years you have a drink? Or does it mean you have a regular get together to maybe go to the movies alone together, without your significant other? How does the answer change if you are married?
I know people who would absolutely answer yes, but can they really?
I know you are racking your brain thinking, “Me and Ray-Ray have been friends for years”. But if you dig down, has either you or Ray-Ray, at one point, tried to take your relationship somewhere else, into the romantic realm and been rebuffed, only to settle back into the friendship zone? Is that a hurdle that must be crossed in order for a “friend” relationship to be successful between the sexes? How many times has respect and admiration been confused with sexual attraction and led to disappointment where we say “I shouldn’t have done that”?
If your significant other has one of these relationships, one that you are uncomfortable with, what do you do? Do you grin and bear it or do you speak up and have the “Listen, Buddy” speech?
In the words of Mary J, when is a woman(man) “cooking in your kitchen”, and what do you do to keep things from going from simmer to slow boil?
Do you think a man and woman can be “just friends”? I used to think so, then I realized there are all shades of this.
It depends on a lot of things. Is the man single? Is the woman? Just how do you define “friends”? Is a friend someone you know and you might hang out with occasionally? How do you define hang out? Does hanging out mean you went to high school (or something ) together and you happen to be in town and once in ten years you have a drink? Or does it mean you have a regular get together to maybe go to the movies alone together, without your significant other? How does the answer change if you are married?
I know people who would absolutely answer yes, but can they really?
I know you are racking your brain thinking, “Me and Ray-Ray have been friends for years”. But if you dig down, has either you or Ray-Ray, at one point, tried to take your relationship somewhere else, into the romantic realm and been rebuffed, only to settle back into the friendship zone? Is that a hurdle that must be crossed in order for a “friend” relationship to be successful between the sexes? How many times has respect and admiration been confused with sexual attraction and led to disappointment where we say “I shouldn’t have done that”?
If your significant other has one of these relationships, one that you are uncomfortable with, what do you do? Do you grin and bear it or do you speak up and have the “Listen, Buddy” speech?
In the words of Mary J, when is a woman(man) “cooking in your kitchen”, and what do you do to keep things from going from simmer to slow boil?
Comments