The Rain is Gone and the Open Toe Pledge ReDux

I can see clearly now. The rain is gone. No, really. After raining here for almost three weeks, it's finally stopped. I know we needed the water, but dang. And yes, I know I took a week off in the Floroida Sunshine, but I came right back to rain.

It's serious when it rains here. It's either feast or famine. No rain, or massive flooding. Cars wash away. People can't drive. Lots of accidents, like an eastern snow storm.
Night before last, I was worried that I was washing away. I cursed myself for not putting that rowboat in my backyard like I'd planned.
About midnight, I was trying to catch up on my TIVO, when The wind picked up. It howled and slammed against the Hill Country like an angry 1960's parent with an orphaned hot wheels track. I watched while my picture window bowed and contemplated if I was about to die by window. A flower arrangement flew through the air and became a missile. My barbeque grill relocated itself to the front yard from the back. Good thing my little dog was inside or he might have blown down the hill. I kept looking for the woman on bike, riding furioulsy through the air screaming, 'I'll get you and your little dog too."
Then I heard banging. The storm ripped the gutters from my house, leaving them barely hanging on by a screw. What to do? I obviously would have to go outside and tie them down with something or they would break glass,and then the storm would be inside the house with me. I couldn't have natural water inside my sanctuary.
I slid the door open and prepared to battle the elements. The driving rain. Pre-tornadic winds. I could do this, even if I really wanted to retreat to my "safe" room in hopes the storm would just pass me over.
It took some creativity, I secured the gutter. With an industrial orange extension cord. A few funnel clouds were spotted around town. Just not here.
It stormed all through the night and the day, and finally, a little sun. They say more storms are coming. But I'm here, waiting for the sun so I can sport my new spring shoes. I know that once the rain stops, the heat will start. That's the way Texas works.


last year, Iposted the Open Toed Shoe Pledge. Soemone sent it to me again, so I thought I woudl refresh your memroy. Get your feet in shape girls!

Alright it's that time of year "once" again!!! And based on this email that someone passed along to me I think we need to be reminded of a few things. So my sisters, PLEASE, raise your big toes and repeat after me below....


The Open Toed Shoe Pledge
As a member of the Cute Girl Sisterhood, I pledge to follow the Rules
when wear sandals and other open-toe shoes:

I promise to always wear sandals that fit. My toes will not hang over
and touch the ground, nor will my heels spill over the backs. And the sides
and tops of my feet will not pudge out between the straps.

I will go polish-free or vow to keep the polish fresh, intact and chip-free.
I will not cheat and just touch up my big toe.

I will sand down any mounds of skin before they turn hard and yellow.

I will shave the hairs off my big toe.

I won't wear pantyhose even if my misinformed girlfriend, coworker,
mother or sister tells me the toe seam really will stay under my toes if I tuck it there.

If a strap breaks, I won't duct-tape, pin, glue or tuck it back into
place hoping it will stay put. I will get my shoe fixed or toss it.

I will not live in corn denial; rather I will lean on my good friend Dr.
Scholl's if my feet need him.

I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes at Payless for the low, low
price of $4.99 even if my feet are small enough to fit into the kids' sizes. This
is out of concern for my safety, and the safety of others. No one can walk
properly when standing in a pool of sweat and I would hate to take someone down
with me as I fall and break my ankle.

I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day if my toes swell
and begin to look like Vienna sausages.

I will be brutally honest with my girlfriend/sister/coworker when she
asks me if her feet are too ugly to wear sandals. Someone has to tell her that
her toes are as long as my fingers and no sandal makes creepy feet look
good.

I will promise if I wear flip flops that I will ensure that they actually flip
and flop, making the correct noise while walking and I will swear NOT
to slide or drag my feet while wearing them.

I will promise to go my local nail salon at least once per season and
have a real pedicure (they are about $20 and worth EVERY penny).

I will promise to throw away any white/off-white sandals that show signs
of wear... nothing is tackier than dirty white sandals.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Amen to the Open Toe Pledge. It does get kind of scary when some of those scary "boot people" emerge from a winter of "boot-wearing", thinking they need only pull out last year's flip-flops and they are ready for spring/summer. PLEASE, there will soon be suitable legislation, I'm sure... have that pedicure first! You people are the reason my employers insist we all must wear panty hose. Corporate Employers have been forced into making up this rule since they have been horrified by those Scary Boot-People who refuse to get pedicures before trying to be Open Toe People. You know who you are, PLEASE. This has been a public message...."
Rich in the Stl said…
Yes Lawd, I may need permission to borrow this pledge for my spot. EVERY woman needs to learn the open toe pledge. I'm teaching my daughters that now. Polish is either on or off, no in between, no excuses.

Amen Sister Amen.

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