This belongs to all of us
There is a lot going on in America now, but I saw a Facebook post that really got me in my feelings. It was from a “friend”; someone I’d worked with some time ago. We both have moved, but kept in touch, I mean actually kept in touch, by having drinks or dinner whenever I was in her new town a few times over the past few years, and of course, on social media.
We have both changed jobs a few times and follow each other on the "social"socials, and on the professional ones, like LinkedIn. I have followed her triumphs and through her posts, have celebrated her triumphs and her joys at work.
We have more in common than a workplace. We do the same job function (not a common one), and our kids are the same age. Our daughters actually spent some time modeling together in middle school. I enjoyed the time I spent working with her, and we were as friendly and respectful as any two people of different races can be when they work together and like each other but aren’t really friends.
On the evening of May 31st, there was looting in her city, as there was in many others. Her young (adult) son works as a security guard and according to her post, he witnessed some rioting. This is where her post when awry for me. As it should be, it was filled with outrage, but not because of police brutality or solidarity with the protestors fed up with Black Americans being needlessly and wrongfully killed by law enforcement. She was upset because HER son was adversely affected by what he SAW.
I read her words and was offended and hurt.
Like so many people, I got the impression that the issues didn’t matter until it was HER son that SAW it.
My sons (and daughters) saw it too, in another city, but this is not what offended me.
As I read, all I could wonder was, what about the Black sons, affected by the fear instilled in them from a young age, fear of _________(fill in the blank) while Black?
What about the young sons affected because their daddies were killed by police for jogging, walking, being, breathing?
What about the millions of American children, Black and otherwise, who have been traumatized as they watch the multiple video clips of the public killing of George Floyd over and over?
And the trauma of Black parents who, 401 years after slavery first arrived on the shores of the New World, still harbor that not-so-little bit of anxiety every time their Black child leaves the house?
Like many people ensconced in the privacy of her own little peace of heaven, such things were never her issue until she was touched by it in some way.
The thing is, just as Black Americans live with the reality of injustice every day, all Americans are touched by this thing that is interwoven in the fabric of America.
This belongs to all of us.
I don't want an apology from my "friend". I would not answer "That's okay," in response because that, in some ways, would absolve her and those with similar reactions of their feelings guilt and discomfort. Instead, I want her to sit with her feelings and feel every bit of it the way Black people in this country feel discomfort every time they see a police car in their rear view mirror even though they have done nothing wrong, because they know that their innocence or guilt may have no impact on the outcome.
Maybe that discomfort and anger will help her empathize with the Black parent that has to explain to their child that they cannot comport themselves in the same manner as their white friends because, at a very young age, their perceived cuteness will recede and they will be viewed as a threat instead of a teen being a teen.
Maybe that discomfort, will move her to action.
It is indeed sad that her young man was caught in the middle of a protest turned violent, but it seems like, in this day and age, property is more important to some than genocide, and THIS is where the whole world should take offense.
“America. Where property damage is a greater offense than genocide.”
―
―
Comments