What are friends for?
So, you get a call, a request, an email from a friend. When you need money, what do you do? Do you repeatedly depend on friends to solve your cash flow problems if you have them? Or do you find other ways to meet your fiscal needs. This is a dilemma. I'm not talking about the type of crisis where you need some money to pay the rent, buy the groceries, feed the kids, but the type of crisis where its just not clear. And if you find yourself there, do you find yourself there over and over again?
Let’s say, I have a legal problem. I need a lawyer. How do I get the money together to pay the lawyer’s retainer. And let’s say I've been here before. You know what I would do? I’d save it. Maybe ten bucks a week if that was all I had and just wait until I knew could pay. It might take a long time, but that’s what I would do. Is this where you are?
But now, let’s say I couldn’t save it. Then what? Would you try to sell something? Anything? Drum up some business if you are a freelance type, get a loan from a bank, hock your jewelry? Hock someone else’s jewelry? Is this where you are?
Would you ask a family member for some cash and at what point? Before or after you tried one and two above? Would you ask them to give it to you or would you ask them for a loan?
At what point, if any, would you ask your friends for money? You have food, and a place to stay, you aren’t going to jail and there is no life threatening illness, let's be clear.
At what point would you send out and email and ask for mass donations? Do you think you would get them?
Hit me up, and let’s discuss this. This happened to me and I had very mixed feelings. I was hurt that they would ask actually, especially since I’m sure they would sense my discomfort. We’ve been here before, but then I felt almost obligated to help because this person is my friend, right, even if we don’t talk very often?
I also felt too embarrassed to tell them that I felt abused. Its a rough thing to tell a friend no about touchy things like cash, right? But according to Suze Orman, it makes no sense to give away cash in times where you have a credit card bill, light bill, whatever, that isn’t completely paid off. It costs you something, right?
I’d like to hear your opinions on this? When is this okay? Is it ever okay?
Let’s say, I have a legal problem. I need a lawyer. How do I get the money together to pay the lawyer’s retainer. And let’s say I've been here before. You know what I would do? I’d save it. Maybe ten bucks a week if that was all I had and just wait until I knew could pay. It might take a long time, but that’s what I would do. Is this where you are?
But now, let’s say I couldn’t save it. Then what? Would you try to sell something? Anything? Drum up some business if you are a freelance type, get a loan from a bank, hock your jewelry? Hock someone else’s jewelry? Is this where you are?
Would you ask a family member for some cash and at what point? Before or after you tried one and two above? Would you ask them to give it to you or would you ask them for a loan?
At what point, if any, would you ask your friends for money? You have food, and a place to stay, you aren’t going to jail and there is no life threatening illness, let's be clear.
At what point would you send out and email and ask for mass donations? Do you think you would get them?
Hit me up, and let’s discuss this. This happened to me and I had very mixed feelings. I was hurt that they would ask actually, especially since I’m sure they would sense my discomfort. We’ve been here before, but then I felt almost obligated to help because this person is my friend, right, even if we don’t talk very often?
I also felt too embarrassed to tell them that I felt abused. Its a rough thing to tell a friend no about touchy things like cash, right? But according to Suze Orman, it makes no sense to give away cash in times where you have a credit card bill, light bill, whatever, that isn’t completely paid off. It costs you something, right?
I’d like to hear your opinions on this? When is this okay? Is it ever okay?
Comments
I'd borrow from a bank or sell stuff off before I'd do that.
Family... only in a dire situation would I ask family...
But for me it's a total pride thing; I'd hate for anyone to know that I needed anything, let alone money
I understand your embarassment and hurt because it puts you in an awkward position, especially if you have kids
I don't know, I couldn't do it. I'd feel like I was taking food out of their kids' mouth, and if I was the "Loan Officer" I'd see it that way, too- money loaned to this person is money taken away from my kids.
That said, I'd do my best never to ask people for large amounts of money. I've been there before when I was much younger...and it ain't cool. But, I will ask for amounts under $10. Generally they may just give it to you, but for that small amount, I'm not gonna have a problem repaying it.